Florida – where we had the theme-park rides of our lives, saw a rocket launch, spotted wild alligators, viewed the world’s biggest door and drove through the aftermath of a hurricane.

Orlando

We arrived in Orlando Florida ready to be amazed at what mankind can do with a swamp.  With cheap land, Disney and Universal and hordes of others carved out the theme park capital of the world.

We visited six theme parks in seven exhausting and exhilarating days. We did Disney World, Disney’s Animal Kingdom, Epcot, Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Universal Studios and Universal’s Islands of Adventure. They were all impressive but being school holidays, the lines were very long. I waited over three hours to get on the new Harry Potter Escape from Gringotts ride wheras Michelle and Harrie couldn’t see the sense in waiting so long for a five minute experience. It was a great five minute experience though. Anticipating long queues, the theme park operators provide all sorts of entertainment designed to relieve the boredom but also to build anticipation for the ride. The queue entertainment is almost a secondary theme park in itself.

We got up early each day and didn’t leave until late as most of the theme parks are open until midnight (Disney World is open until 2am). Most memorable rides? Spaceship Earth at Epcot where you tour through the history of communications, the two Harry Potter worlds (Hogsmeade and the amazing new Diagon Alley), the Spiderman ride where you swing through the streets of New York, the two water raft rides (Kali River Rapids at Disney and Popeye’s Bilge Rat Barges at Universal) that completely drenched us, the adrenaline rush of the Hulk rollercoaster, the similar backwards rush of the Expedition Everest rollercoaster at Animal Kingdom, and finally sticking with the thrill rides, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror where you enter a faulty elevator in a 14 storey hotel and get thrown throughout the building with the doors briefly opening to reveal a scene before dropping suddenly or lurching out of the building.

Harrie and I also spent a day at Disney World by ourselves while Michelle had a day to herself. Surprisingly, the most enjoyable thing we did was a series of five pirate scavenger hunts themed around the Pirates of the Caribbean films. You are given a treasure map where you need to find certain symbols hidden around the park. You then place your Disney World entry band next to the symbol and it activates an event to lead you to the next clue. But what an event! One involved an animatronic skeleton rising up out of the water to speak to us while another involved paintings on the wall in a gift shop coming to life. Tremendous fun and better than than the rides in our opinion.

Needless to say that after a week of theme-parking, we felt like a kid who has pigged out on lollies. It was a real sugar rush at the time but by the end of it, we felt queasy.  Our bodies screamed at us to have something more healthy for our next meal.

 

 

 

An amazing Lego sea serpent sculpture at the lego shop at Disney Boardwalk, the nearby mega-shopping/dining precinct that Disney always wanted to herd guests to.

Leaving Orlando, I had my first US driving experience driving what the hire car company called a “sub-compact” and what Michelle nicknamed “The Red Rice Bubble”. Everything felt wrong at first but two days in and things started feeling more natural. There are some crazy road rules to get used to like the four-way stop sign where all roads converge on each other and instead of a roundabout or traffic lights, you are meant to take turns in driving in the direction you want. And yes, what you are thinking happens – chaos. They don’t call this place the home of the brave for nothing.

The Florida Everglades

We went gator huntin’ at the start of the Everglades near Kissimmee (pronounced kuh-symy rather than kiss-a-me) and also near Miami in the middle of the Everglades. As Captain Bobby, our first airboat operator, said “the difference between hunting and huntin’ is that hunting involves capturing or killing an animal for a purpose while huntin’ involves lots of beer and flashlights.” Well, we didn’t do either but had two great airboat tours looking at the Everglades ecosystem. The Florida swamps were much more beautiful than I imagined. The whole place is teaming with life – birds, fish, turtles and of course alligators – as well as beautiful flora such as lotus plants (we ate the seeds which tasted like coconut), water lilly, crab apple trees and mangroves.

The alligators themselves are quite small in comparison to our crocodiles and also less aggressive. For that reason, we were able to get close to them without any danger. Michelle was hooked after our first trip so she organised a second trip on the way to Miami airport. The second trip was at the home of The Gator Boys TV show (for all of those who have stumbled across this show on Animal Planet) so we also saw a gator show where one of the stars of the TV show talked about the importance of protecting the alligators and treating  them with respect before proceeding to respectfully grab a surprised gator by its tail and pull it out of the water to wrestle with it.

However, of all the critters that reside in Florida, the one we saw the most was the vulture.  They can be seen everywhere in the skies like the inky opposite of seagulls on a beach.  They are big and scary looking things but are apparently quite safe if not provoked or unless your body is inert and ready for eating.

The Space Coast

We drove from Kissimmee to “The Space Coast” which is what the Cape Canaveral area of Florida is called by locals. We booked in to a hotel near Cocoa Beach and were asked if we were going to stay up and watch the rocket launch.  “What rocket launch?” we asked and were told that a GPS satellite would be launched at 11.23pm that night (not 11.22pm or 11.24pm).  Whether it was luck or fate, we certainly weren’t going to miss the opportunity to see a space rocket being launched.  That night, we went to Port Canaveral where we had a delicious (and cheap) seafood dinner and at precisely 11.23pm we saw an Apollo V rocket blast in to space.

Just prior to the launch, NASA sends helicopters around the launch site to scare away wildlife as well as any humans who may be foolish enough to get too close.  Apparently, the sound alone is enough to kill anything within a one mile radius.  Months later, we are still reminded of the rocket launch whenever we are driving in our car and need to use the GPS.

The Kennedy Space Center

Situated right next to the launch pads for both the Apollo missions and Space Shuttles, sits two enormous museums devoted to space travel.  Both buildings feature amazing artefacts as well as theme-park like experiences such as a ride that simulates launching and travelling in a space shuttle. In addition to the Center, we also took a tour to the launch sites and the NASA assembly building where the rockets are made. You don’t have to be a space nut to be awed by this place (but it helps).

 

 

Driving to Fort Lauderdale

For the last few weeks, we had been trying to organise either a trip to Cuba or a cruise of the Caribbean but by the time we got to Cape Canaveral,we still had nothing booked.  Booking anything to Cuba is impossible in the USA where long held grudges still remain and those wishing to travel are viewed with both suspicion and scorn.  Booking a cruise to the Caribbean was only slightly less difficult.

When Michelle and I last visited the US in 2000, we had no difficulty in booking a cheap last-minute cruise through a local LA travel agent.  Fourteen years on and the concept of a “travel agent” is barely grasped by any American under thirty. Everyone books online themselves and we had left things too late for such a popular time of the year.   As a last ditch effort, we contacted Michelle’s parents in Australia and managed to get a booking through the Campbelltown branch of the Travel Centre.

 

We now had to drive to Fort Lauderdale to board the cruise.  Unfortunately, that also coincided with the aftermath of Hurricane Bertha.

We weren’t long on the freeway when we hit a severe storm with torrential rain and flooding. When the thunder struck we felt every vibration through our little rice bubble car and every time a truck went by, it was like driving in a car wash (I think the truck tyres were bigger than our car).  It was dangerous and many cars had pulled off the road to wait out the storm.

After a couple of near misses, we thought it was time to do the same and pulled into a Dennys diner off the freeway. I remember having to relax the muscles in my hands which were clenched in a death grip on the steering wheel.  We counted to three and made a dash for the front door and getting completely drenched as we ran inside for shelter from the storm.

Unfortunately though, the storm didn’t let up and I was worried that we would be driving through it in the night. So, we set back on the road.  We crawled along the freeway as ambulances and police cars buzzed past us. As the sky grew darker, my worst fears were realised.

As night fell, the driving conditions became even more nightmarish. Our car  GPS lost satellite reception and we had to rely on road signs and a general sense of direction.

It was quite late at night when we reached Fort Lauderdale. We pulled into a 7-Eleven to ask directions to our hotel.  A guy who was leaning on a broom by the front door confidently gave us directions. Unfortunately, they turned out to be the wrong directions. By this point, we were seriously lost.  We drove down some scary backstreets and through a large pool of water that amazingly didn’t come through the car doors. We don’t know how, but after some random driving we stumbled across our hotel and safety.  If an evangelist had been there, we would have seriously considered converting.